How to Start Therapy: A Step-by-Step Guide for First-Timers

The Hardest Part is Starting

If you've been thinking about therapy for a while but haven't taken the step yet, you're not alone. Most people wait an average of 11 years between when mental health symptoms first appear and when they seek professional help. That's a long time to carry something you didn't have to carry alone.

This guide removes every obstacle. By the end of it, you'll know exactly what to do, step by step.

Step 1: Decide What You Want Help With

You don't need a diagnosis, a clear problem statement, or years of trauma to start therapy. People start therapy for all kinds of reasons:

• "I feel anxious most of the time and I don't know why"
• "My relationship is struggling"
• "I've been feeling low and unmotivated for months"
• "I'm going through a major life change and want support"
• "I want to understand myself better"
• "I'm burnt out and can't seem to recover"

Any of these is a completely valid reason to start. Your therapist will help you get more specific once you begin.

Step 2: Choose Between Online and In-Person

For most people starting today, online therapy is the better first choice. It's more accessible, more affordable, and equally effective. You can switch to in-person later if you want, but there's no reason to let logistics delay you from starting.

Online therapy is particularly good if you:

• Have a busy or irregular schedule
• Feel nervous about sitting in a waiting room or office
• Live somewhere with limited local therapist availability
• Want to keep costs down without sacrificing quality

Step 3: Find a Therapist

Here's what to look for when choosing a therapist:

Credentials to look for

• LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker)
• LPC / LPCC (Licensed Professional Counselor)
• MFT (Marriage and Family Therapist)
• PhD / PsyD (Psychologist with doctoral degree)
• MA / MS in counseling or psychology (with license number)

Always verify a license is current and active. Avoid anyone who calls themselves a "therapist" or "counselor" without a verifiable credential.

Finding a good fit

The therapeutic relationship is the strongest predictor of outcomes. It matters more than the therapist's credentials, theoretical orientation, or years of experience. Look for:

• Someone who specializes in what you're dealing with
• A style and personality you feel comfortable with
• Someone you feel you could be honest with

Most good platforms, including Shemesh Wellness, offer a matching process and free initial consultation to help you find the right therapist before you commit.

Step 4: Book a Free Consultation

Almost all reputable therapy services offer a free or low-cost initial consultation. Use this to:

• Share what's bringing you to therapy (briefly — you don't have to tell your whole story)
• Ask about the therapist's approach and experience with your concerns
• Get a sense of whether the fit feels right
• Ask about scheduling and pricing

You can ask questions like: "Have you worked with people dealing with [anxiety / depression / burnout]?" "What does your approach typically look like?" "How often would we meet?"

Step 5: Attend Your First Session

Your first therapy session is mostly an extended intake — your therapist is getting to know you and your situation. You'll typically be asked:

• What brings you to therapy now?
• What does a typical day look like for you?
• Have you been in therapy before?
• What are your goals for therapy?

You don't have to have perfect answers. Just be as honest as you can. You won't be judged — therapists are trained specifically to hold space for difficult, messy, or confusing things.

Step 6: Commit to the Process

Therapy is not a quick fix. Most people start noticing meaningful changes within 6–8 sessions. Full treatment for many concerns takes 12–20 sessions. Here's how to get the most out of it:

• Show up consistently — weekly sessions work better than sporadic ones
• Be honest — the things that are hardest to say are usually the most important
• Do the work between sessions — therapy is 1 hour a week, growth happens in the other 167
• Give it at least 6 sessions before evaluating — early discomfort is normal and doesn't mean it isn't working
• Speak up if something isn't working — good therapists welcome this feedback

What If the First Therapist Isn't Right?

This happens often and it's completely normal. Research suggests it takes many people 2–3 therapists before finding a strong match. If after 3–4 sessions something doesn't feel right — you feel judged, unheard, or like the approach isn't helping — it's okay to tell your therapist you'd like to try a different therapist. Most will help facilitate that transition gracefully.

Ready to Start?

The most important thing is to take one concrete step today, not tomorrow. Book a free consultation at Shemesh Wellness — it takes less than 5 minutes and there's no obligation to continue if it doesn't feel right.

Related Guides

• What Is Online Therapy?
• How to Find Affordable Therapy
• Types of Therapy Explained
• Online Therapy for Anxiety
• Online Therapy for Depression